JmaX

I originally wanted a more poetic and melancholic tone for this post, but the instant I started to type it, the inspiration just dissipated from my head. URGH.
What can I say, I can never stay angry with ’someone’ for long, it’s just not possible. That’s a good thing, thankfully. 2 months have passed in the blink of an eye, though it felt ever so long with so much having gone through. I must say that’s quite an amazing feat for me, that a short 2 months can bear so much.
~
I ought to be thankful. For the first time, I get to really feel what it means to be responsible, not just to myself, but to my other half too. Of course, all these is in my own interpretation and realisation of the important ingredients that fuel a relationship. Different situations that arise, be it happy or sad, anger or nonchalance, require a more delicate approach than how one would normally react around friends or acquaintances.
Even so, there’s much to learn down this path, for I have not had the chance to experience what it means to be able to be maintain flexibility, freshness, unfaltering devotion, and mutual content in the long-term. Indeed, maintaining a long-term relationship, or even a marriage, is one that takes a lot of maturity, communication, and magnanimity. I’m constantly learning…
Quarrels, disputes, disagreements naturally come part of the package, and often than not it is the bane of most, if not all, failed relationships. A lack of understanding and patience, even maturity in some cases, arises when one is unable or unwilling to communicate and share, leading to an endless flow of petty disputes that remain unaddressed, which will eventually contribute to the greater evil that initiates a split. I’m no guru of relationships, not while I’m inexperienced, but at least I want to find the determination to make sure that “greater evil” doesn’t materialise.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong and I’m really happy with the way things are. I’m merely indulging in a self-evaluation of my experiences.
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I notice an acquaintance on MSN who has only 1 kind of MSN nicks: the FUCKING EMO BEYOND HOPE kind.
I don’t want to be mean, but honestly this is the kind of emo that annoys people a lot; I don’t even need to talk to him to feel totally turned off.
An example of a nick: “U are not deserved to love anymore. *****,wake up. U are idiot,really is a idiot!!!”
Like I said, I have no intention to be nasty or nosy because I can’t be bothered, but every nick from this person so far has been along these lines. In fact, I dare say some of you might even know him…
Firstly, you keep telling yourself to wake up, so please fucking wake up the right way. Wallowing in the worsest of self-pity doesn’t gain anyone’s sympathy, neither does it help you get the person you’re interested in. I know this pretty sure myself. (let’s just say I had my fair share of despondency, though not this exaggerated or annoyingly loud)
Secondly, if you think that the uber-ridiculously-fucking-emo image is going to gain you some awwww-points and hitch you a nice person, you are way too deluded I wouldn’t even want to smack you awake. Tell me, would any person in the right of mind want to get newly attached to a depressed soul? It would mean endless baby-sitting, psychological counselling, and double the emotional work since emo-you has spent all your time being emo and is incapable of understanding and acting on the emotional needs of a relationship. In this case, seeing a shrink (or psychologist if you don’t know what’s a shrink) would be far more beneficial than getting attached.
Thirdly, as long as you remain like that, you will constantly view everything in the saddest way possible. Ever wondered why no job seems to suit you that you need to keep looking for a new job? Have you thought about why you feel so empty inside, and you always ache terribly when someone you have an interest in dates someone else or even gets attached? Did you consider the real root of your depression? Obviously not, not when you fail to realise that YOU are your problem.
If you’re not even contented with you yourself, no one else but you, a single you, there’s no way you can have the determination to get through life’s daily struggles. A relationship involves two people who are primarily mature enough to be self-sufficient and confident, secondarily able to communicate, understand, and compromise with each other with great magnanimity, thirdly able to actively provide positivity and mutuality to fuel and strengthen the relationship in the long-term. Honestly, happiness in a relationship is 2-way, not solely one party constantly feeding the deficiencies of the other. It is true that people tend to go for someone who is humble yet self-confident, because these people know their limits and capabilities and how to achieve their highest potential, and hence these people are more “fun” to be with.
At the end of the day, my point is that you need to learn to love yourself first and foremost before you even consider venturing out to the world of relationships. Relationships require much more than what you usually give yourself.
I quote from an email a friend sent me:
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage/relationship work.
Hey *****, how do you feed a relationship when you can’t even feed yourself first?
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Keep your eyes on me, won’t you?